I Know How You Feel

One of the things that just about EVERY special needs parent has heard from well-meaning people is "I know how you feel." I am sure that they say this to try and sympathize with what we are facing, because it is very, very difficult some days. BUT, it is really, really annoying to hear. Because most people have no idea how we feel. 

YOU don't know
Let me give a few examples from those who do NOT know how a special needs parent feels:

1. My cousin has Autism, so I know how you feel

2. I have kids with disabilities that go to my school/ church.

3. I rode a bus with a special needs kid one year. I know how you feel (Real example, yall)

4. I watched a show about that disability! I know all about it now.

5. Oh, your child has seizures? I read this article one time, and I think they would be healed if you _______.

Now, most people are wise enough to know that these examples do not give a person any amount of credibility. For those who are uncertain still, let me tell you how these came across to me. 

1. "My cousin has Autism, I know how you feel." Okay, so you have probably seen the meltdowns and get a little part of that. But have you worried about how to pay for their care because they will never be able to live on their own? How about changing their diaper when they are 18? Have you laid awake night after night scared that they could be abused and won't be able to tell you? 

2 and 3. "Kids with disabilities go to my school/ church." and "I rode a bus with a special needs kid." Well, good for you. That still does not mean anything. I have seen people in wheelchairs, but I don't have any idea on how difficult it is to navigate public places without the use of my legs. No idea at all.

4 and 5. "I saw a show/ read an article about seizures, so I know." Well, thank heavens I have you with your internet degree of advanced knowledge!!! I don't know what I would do without you. Really, thanks for that 5 minutes of googling my kid's symptoms. Surely, I have never spent countless hours on countless nights, desperately searching the internet for information about my child's 10 sub-diagnoses.