Good Things to Say!

Before, I posted about dumb comments I have gotten, and things not to say to special needs moms. I'm sure people wonder in this day and age if there is anything you can say without being offensive, and the answer is a big YES!!! I love questions about my daughter!

Some examples:

1. "I noticed that your daughter has the most beautiful smile. May I ask about ______?" Questions are always received better with a compliment up front! We love our kids! Or just a compliment to our child! It doesn't have to be about her disability. Chelsea lights up for an hour after people tell her she looks like a specific princess.

2. Ask "How is Chelsea doing?" and then listen to the answer, even if you don't understand when I talk about how at the IEP, the SLP, OT, and LEA rep were discussing her PLAFP... Just listen.

3. If you don't understand something, just ask! "Could you explain about ______? You mentioned it the other day, and I don't know what that is"

4. This one is my favorite: "I don't know how you feel, but I am here for you." You don't have to have the same experiences as I do to be my friend. I need to talk about my struggles, and having a non-judgmental friend to listen is the best thing I could ask for.

5. "Could I watch your kids sometime while you have a break or go on a date night?" I remember my aunt volunteering to watch my kids for as long as needed while my husband and I celebrated our anniversary, and I cried with relief- we hadn't been out in months. Offers of help are the best! Asking "Can I help with anything?" kicks into gear our mentality of feeling like we should be able to do everything and we will say no.

6. Invite my kid for a playdate! She isn't contagious, and is lots of fun, and wants friends so badly! She wants to be invited to people's houses to play just like any other kid!

7. Overload me with information after you watched my non-verbal child!!!! Tell me what she ate, drank, played with, if she needed a diaper change, what her favorite part was, any struggles she might have had... And if you text me pictures of them having fun, my soul will be at peace. She can't tell me much, and that terrifies me. I want to know she is safe and having fun!

8. Talk to Chelsea like she understands you, because she does. She likes ice cream and Minnie Mouse and swimming just like any other little girl. She loves when people talk to her and give her attention.

9. "I know it must be very challenging, but you must be very proud of Chelsea." I AM!!!!!

10. Teach your child about how to play with a child with a disability and be accepting