Light It Up Blue

Today was Autism Awareness Day, when people are encouraged to wear blue to show support for/ raise awareness about Autism.

I thought this was an awesome thing- I loved that people would show their love for those with Autism.

But then on my newsfeed, I started seeing several negative posts about how things about Autism Awareness Day were horribly offensive.

Such as: "blue symbolizes depression, and having a child with autism isn't something to cry about. " or "Puzzle pieces are derogatory- they mean I don't fit anywhere in society" or "When people think of autism, they think it only affects boys, and that is offensive to the many women that struggle with it"

Now, I do not have a child officially diagnosed with Autism. She has many of the traits, but a different diagnosis. I am not an expert in Autism, nor do I pretend to be.

However, I do have many friends and family members that DO have Autism, and that I love very much.

I will gladly wear blue for them.

I participate in Autism activities for them.

I do these things to show my support for them.

I am confused about why there are so many articles shaming the people that are genuinely trying to show their support for people with Autism.

First of all, the vast majority of people are uncomfortable when they encounter unfamiliar things, special needs included.

I certainly was before Chelsea, and I still am when I encounter a person with a disability I have never encountered.

But as a parent to a child with special needs, I would much, much, MUCH rather a person try to show their love and support and make a few mistakes than do nothing.

Parenting a special needs child can be a difficult and lonely road. We need support!

Of course people will make mistakes- no one is perfect! I have two stories that come to mind:

In my senior year of high school, I was out prom dress shopping, and while trying on some dresses, saw a girl come partially into view, also trying on dresses. I also noted that her whole arm, finger tip to shoulder, was in a cast, and wondering if she had broken it doing some kind of sport, asked, "Hey, what did you do that you get such a big cast?"

She turned around, and I saw that every inch of her was covered- face, neck, feet, chest, everything. "I have a skin condition" was her response, and then she walked away, leaving me feeling about 2 centimeters tall and wanting to crawl under a rock!

The second story happened after I had Chelsea and knew about her diagnoses. I was at the grocery store, loading my groceries from the cart into my car, and was nearly done. I saw a man park his car close by, then carry out a boy, maybe 12 years old, with noise cancelling headphones on, who was stimming and clearly had some special needs (my guess was Autism, but who wants an unqualified diagnostician, right?)

Remembering how I wished people would have "normal" conversations with me, I greeted him, joked about the weather, and as he drew level with me, I heard him ask, "Hey, can I take your car?" Laughing, I said no- he has one already, assuming it was his way of making a joke.

Nope- I had misheard, and he had been asking for my now empty shopping cart so he could set his son into the basket, and the dad got this shocked look on his face and said, "Oh, okay..." and slowly walked away.

I caught on when he was about 30 feet away, loading his son into an abandoned cart. Boy, did I feel like the most insensitive person in the universe!!!!

I tell these stories to show that most people really aren't trying to be rude. I would never knowingly insult or ignore a person with special needs, or their parents doing their best! But mistakes will happen, accidents happen.

So perhaps instead of shouting about how you don't get support, then about how offended you are that someone would dare to wear blue to try and support a person, you could thank them for their love, and kindly explain why you are wearing red instead, or using a different symbol.

I believe that most people are kind, and want to show support, but sometimes just don't know how to.

Many people with special needs are reserved and don't want to share, and that is great! Some people are very outgoing and happy to share, and that is great too!

Everyone is different, and just as our personalities are different, so are our ways of showing support.

Maybe I didn't show support in the exact way you would like, but I am trying to show that I love you, and I am trying to understand. It is a work in progress, thank you for being patient while we all learn together.